boys with hearts.

kirisaki jack~♥

2009-05-18T12:28:00.002-04:00

Mood: well rested!?
Music: Knife to Fork - ORE SKA BAND

Because I want to waste time!! And have very little to talk about!
(STOLEN FROM LENA!! XD)

hi, i’m:
SAM

how do you pronounce your name?
SAH-M (or SAH-MAHN-THAH)

what is your age backwards?
81

how do you feel today?
very well rested! I slept so much!

back to school:

what grade are you goin into?
FIRST YEAR UNIVERSITY! :D

which period are you doing the best at?
hmm. sadly, philosphy. Though I'm hoping English may have gone up.

which period are you doing the worse at?
english....or, i was. actually, my online class might be worse.

which teacher do you fear the most?
hmm. my online teacher. i've only met her once and she smells funny.

are you changing to a new school this year?
yes yes :D

is someone else changing schools?
i think most people are.

who was your second grade crush?
cody something-or-other~

what was one reason you cried?
um ..........i have no idea. i don't remember the last time i cried.
wait, i probably read some sappy scene in a story or something.

what shows do you never want to miss?
. . .
WELL, i never want to miss south park ...but i always do.

favorites:

chocolate:
cadbury!

color:
blue~

shoe brand:
hmm, i used to love converse.
but i really love addidas right now!

website:
fictionpress. entertainment galore!

theme park:
uh. i dunno.

instrument:
piano/guitar.

song:
hmm. so long, so long by dashboard.
or rooftops and invitations, i love that song as well!

miss:

what grade do you miss the most?:
OMG LENA, i miss grade seven too!
oh the days of obnoxious, naive youth!

who's the first friend that comes to your mind that you miss?
brenna~
lena~
...others.

what else do you miss?:
lena-chan~
and MY HARVEST MOON GAMES.
I WANT THEM BACK DAMMIT.

lies:

ever lied about your age?:
yep, people used to assume i was legal.
now i am legal!

to impress someone?:
nope

to freeload?:
my parents have

ever used someone?:
not knowingly.

this or that:

crunchie or kitkatt:
crunchie

myspace or facebook:
facebook.

flowers or chocolate?:
chocolate! like lena says: flowers die, and chocolate is god!

watch the news or historical teachings?:
historical teachings.

hold hands or kiss?:
.....well from my lack of experience, HOLD HANDS.
until they get clammy.

white chocolate or dark?:
MILK.

random:

what was the last theme park you’ve been too ?
uhhh ...wonderland.

name one thing you remember from social class:
social studies? umm ....brenna drew a picture of our substitue picture on her desk on got made fun of for it XD
i know, what a bad thing to remember...

what mood are you in right now?:
happy procrastination!

who was the last person you IMed ?:
um. jesus.
i have no idea.

who was the last person added on your Facebook:
um, pauline. it was a little creepy...

who was the last person deleted on your Facebook:
i dunno.

who did you last hang out with?
brittany

Best:
1. Male Friend:
. . .jorden, i guess?

2. Female friend:
the usual three.

3. Vacation:
=.=;;

4. Memory:
i don't like saying which memories are best. there's lots of good ones, but i like enjoying the present better.
looking back on memories gets kind of depressing.

Last:

1. Person you saw:
jorden

2. Messaged over MySpace:
i never had myspace

3. IM’d:
like i said, no idea.

Today:

1. What are you doing right now:
this.

2. Wearing?
clothes

3. Better than yesterday?
mmm, yes. because i got to sleep in.

4. Did you see the person you like?
i like friends and stuff. so yes?

5. What's the weather?
nice~

2. What's bothering you right now?
. . .
dunno.

4. What is in your wallet?
ID, bank cards, gift cards.

5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop?
DOGS. like, not real dogs. Heine and Badou from the manga DOGS.

7. Next time you will kiss someone?
never? XD

8. Where was your default picture taken?
dominican

10. Life:
fml.

11. House:
two story

12. Doing this weekend?
it's almost over TT^TT
though next weekend is anime north! (that makes me sound like the biggest loser ever- but i go for the original artwork! it's so lovely!)

13. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
hmm. a spot in Innis residence. goddammit.

14. Listening to?
knife to fork- ORE SKA BAND

15. Where do you live?
canada

16. Eating?
nada

17. On your bed, what is your favorite thing?
my bed in general. I LOVE MR. BED.

18. Do you believe in a soulmate?
eh, not realy. i mean, there's more than one out there, isn't there?

19. What do you wear to bed?
shorts, shirt, sweater, sweatpants. depends on how warm/cold i am.

20. Do you remember your dreams?
if i take the time to think about it then yes.

21. Do you burn easily in the sun?
yep

22. What's something you wish you could understand better?
dunno.

23. What did you do last weekend?
work

24. Who do you miss?
people

25. Who is the last girl you hugged?
uh, chrysta? maybe?

26. Who is the last boy you hugged?
jorden

27. Who was the last person you went somewhere with?
uh, my mum and jorden.

28. Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
no. no top friends.

29. Last time you ate a home grown tomato?
never. FUCK TOMATOS.

30. What was the last thing you drank?
water

31. Do you like someone right now?
friends!?

32. What do you wear more, slacks, jeans, or sweatpants?
jeans

33. What is the last movie you watched? With who?
angels and demons. it had a wonderful soundtrack.
BUT STAR TREK WAS BETTER!!!

34. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
water, orange juice and tea?

35. What are you excited about?
GRADUATION. MOVING OUT. POSSIBLY PROM.

36. Do you want someone you can't have?
nuuu

37. Where was the last place you went?
walmart

38. What’s on your mind right now?
mmm, nothing really.

39. Have you cried recently?
nope

40. If an unstoppable force comes across an immovable object, then what happens?
BOOOM~

41. Is taking a shower a daily thing?
hells yeah.

and there you have it. boredom killed for ...a few minutes!

for brenna, for brenna.

2009-04-23T11:00:00.003-04:00

Mood: blah
Music: Romantic - Rie Fu

Ahh, my birthday is tomorrow~ I will be eighteen! Although, that means almost nothing here, because, well, the only thing I can legally do is vote and have sex with an adult.
Neither will be happening any time soon.

I have been watching the drama Ryuusei no Kizuna. I love it, it's cute and sort of sad at the same time, it's about these three siblings who's parents were murdered when they were kids, and now they are trying to find the man and get revenge. However, it's a lot more complicated than it seems (Shizuna, the sister, falls in love with the murderer's son, and is not actually related to her brothers Taichi and Kouichi) and the swindle a lot of people to get them back for hurting them.

I've also been watchign a ton of anime (I blame Brittany for this!), as well is reading manga. Pandora Hearts is a new one I started (on my own!) and the anime wasn't subbed, so I decided to read the manga so I would know what was happening! It's adorable! And it's got a really original plot, it almost ties in with Alice in Wonderland to some extent, as well as other old myths. Another one is 07 ghosts; I haven't gotten far in the anime, but I am caught up in the manga- and let me say, there are some very (strange) themes going on in this manga. The main characters seem a little to gay for a shonen manga (I think the aouthor is a woman). I mean, there is a piture of Teito (the main character) and his friend in the bath together (which is, incidentally, filled with flowers....) There is nothing sexual about it, it's just weird. And Teito cries alot/ gets really attatched, but otherwise he's a good character.

AS WELL, Fullmetal Alchemist has been restaretd! Since the manga was still going, and the anime and movie were completely different they decided to restart th series and have it go down the same path as the manga! this one is MUCH better (the music is more epic, the animation and fight scenes are better, the japanese voices are the same but better...) and it explains so much more! I'm very pleased with it.

Bookwise, I have recently read a lot of Micheal Ondaatje (especially for school, since my english ISU is on his novel) and Divisadero is the most beautiful, simplle but wonderful book I have ever read. i find it hard to beleive that normal people can live such painstakingly ture but beautiful lives!
As well, I have been reading the Jessica Darling series (something I started in grade nine and recently got back into- I know Lena reads them too XD) I read 1 and 2 a logn tiem ago, then recently bought 3 and 4 once I realized they existed. Last week my mum bought me the 5th one (the last one!) and I finished that too (she also ordered the 1st and 2nd for my birthday) and it ended so well (and come on, we ALL know how it ended!!) Really though, the books really excite me for university, seeing as the 3rd and 4th are about jessica while she's in college. That sort of life excites me greatly, and I'm more impatient than ever to get out of the house and be on my own!

It's coming soon. Although my average dropped from 87% to 84% I'm hoping I'll be able to raise my english mark (I can't beleieve I only got a 72%!!!!) so my average will go up again. I really want to make sure I get into Innis College (though I am already accepted into u of t!)

And that is my life in a nutshell, I guess. Nothing exciting happens XD

sunshine underground!?

2009-03-04T14:31:00.003-05:00

Mood: Restless, happy

Music: DIC 954 - Veltpunch

After being sick since Saturday (technically Friday night, though I hadn't realized I was actually getting sick it doesn't count) I am FINALLY on the mend!! Albeit, I still feel like I'm about to cough up both of my lungs every time I cough (which is often) and I had to down Fisherman's Friend's every few minutes to prevent such intense coughing, but all is well regardless!!

I actually feel somewhat productive though, even though I have been sitting around doing absolutely nothing since Saturday, or well, Sunday really, since I went out Saturday night- never go out when you're sick, I have a feeling it only makes you worse. Still, Saturday was fun though. It was Richard's 23rd birthday, so we all went to Dave & Busters, which is this bar/restaurant/arcade mix that requires ID. Britty and I had a massive panic attack when we realized we needed ID because I'm underage and can't drink. It turned out okay, because everybody there was 20 and older (you have to be 19 to drink here) and the guy said I had to leave by ten, which, of course, I didn't. Because I can pass for older than (almost) 18, so it didn't really matter XD

So it was fun, we played a decent amount of games, especially old-school ones.

I also spent much of the weekend playing F.E.A.R. 2- which is WAYYYYYYY scarier than the first one! I originally thought my throat was hurting from screaming so much while playing, but as I know now, I was actually just getting sick. The sad thing is, we rented it so I had to return it before I could actually beat it. I'm trying to convince Jorden to buy it, but the game actually gave him nightmares so he's kind of hesitant about it XD. After the weekend of gaming, I ended up doing pretty much nothing on Monday and Tuesday- I listened to music a lot, read and watched a lot of dramas. I don't get sick like this very often, so I forgot how hard it is to concentrate on school work while I'm sick XD. So I haven't done much homework.

And I made the stupid mistake of going to school yesterday! Right when I wake up I think I'm fine because I'm not coughing or anything, but it tends to get worse as the morning goes by. So just before first period yesterday I COMPLETELY lost my voice and couldn't even cough properly! Mr. Hook tried to get me to answer something and I couldn't because I couldn't talk, it was a little embarrassing >.> I went home after that XD

And then today I just stayed home, though of course I'm starting to feel better. After all of that slacking though, I have a decent amount of work awaiting me and I'm just making things worse by procrastinating!!

MUSIC RANT!!!

I have been feeling like there really isn't any good music out in the world today, and have been longing for the days when I had THOUSANDS of files of music available for every emotion/mood I was in. Lately though, after clearing nearly three thousand music files off of itunes, I thought my library was lacking a little. So, while randomly checking on one of my favorite bands (The Rocket Summer!) I saw that Bryce Avery (The Rocket Summer in its entirety- he's a one man band! Except for when he's touring, that is.) Had collaborated with a friend, Ace Ender and a few other people from relatively famous bands (like Blink 182 etc) to do a cover on the song 'Bittersweet Symphony' by The Verve. I remember the song as a child; sometimes it used to really piss me off because it sounded so monotone, but other times I really liked it because of the violins in the background XD So I spent a while looking for the song and FINALLY downloaded it.

AND I LOVE IT. It says I've played it 26 times so far, which when considering I have been busy downloading other music and have only had the song for about two hours is pretty impressive in my mind XD I get so excited when I hear Bryce Avery singing those harmony's with the others! He has the sweetest voice!

Along with that, I finally found Veltpunch's 'Paint it Grey' album! It's taken me FOREVER to find a link that actually downloaded the album, but I did it! And of course, just like their single 'Crawl' the whole album exudes that joyful, carefree sound that I absolutely adored at the end of summer last year! I think it's perfect timing for the album, since spring is FINALLY coming and the whole week has been sunny and cloudless, slowly warming back to bearable temperatures. I love their music, it's a soft pop/rock mix, with a mix of a guy and a girl singing. There music tends to remind me of car rides with Britty, because we spent a whole day listening to 'Crawl' on our way to Pacific Mall one time last summer. Their music is perfect for a happy, carefree day!

I'm also downloading an album by an indie band named 'The Sunshine Underground'. I have no idea what they sound like yet, but I'm eager to find out! I love discovering new bands!! <33

And I think that is all for the moment XD. It's been a while since I updated!

2009-01-10T14:23:00.002-05:00

Mood: annoyed

Music: She said - Rin Oikawa

The first week back to school has been so hectic. I mean, really. I have so many assignments due for next week and it feels like I've only just found out about them, not to mention even worked on them. On top of that, we have exams in about a week in two days. I only have two written exams and to vocal exams, but they matter so much, because there are the marks that get sent in to the universities =.=;;. On that note, all three universities have gotten back to be, guelph, laurier and toronto. I was SO worried, because u of t took so long to get back to me, but they sent a letter and emailed me, so I feel better now. Now, it's back to REALLY obsessing over marks, because that is what will get me into the university I want (toronto, st.george) and the college I want to live in (Innis) so yeah. Marks mean everything! And I'm sure my average is going to go down, by a lot. I'm only going to have low eighties, which means my 88% average is no longer there TT^TT

Ugh. So stressful. Especially with the end of the semester, and I stupidly did NOT hand in some projects. I don't understand why I do that- I just get SO lazy, and I was doing so well for the most part. Argh. I'll have to try harder next semester, since those are the marks that really count >.>

And at work, we are getting renovations, which is really weird. It's so hard to work and listen to orders while there are drills on the other side of the wall. I hate it.

And on another note, I read the book Kamikaze girls (which was very good) and then watched the movie, which was just as good. It was so funny! I really enjoyed it; it's definitely one of my favorite movies XD

Anyways, that's all, I think. I don't really want to complain about everything, and I have to do my hair, since we are going out later for supper >.>

oh procrastination...

2008-12-06T17:43:00.004-05:00

Mood: PROCRASTINATION

Music: Xavia- The Submarines

Just a quick update, I think.

I am procrastinating big time, really, but oh well. Can it be helped? >.> It's really only this one big ISU project/seminar/essay that I've been putting off. I'm not sure, but the whole thing is just laden with STRESS, and it just makes me want to shy away from it.

Today I went shopping with my mum, and we ended up doing a lot of Christmas shopping. I got two sweaters, a really pretty (pink XD) shirt and three pairs of jeans. The jeans don;'t fit perfectly, but I'm using that as motivation to lose weight (which I have been doing well on XD Somewhat, for these two weeks. If I wasn't so tired and bogged down with homework, it would have been better).

I've also been addicted to rice krispi squares. I can't really say why, I just am, but GOD, I love them so much.

ALSO, OMIGAWD, FINALLY, finally, I have come up with a decent plot for my story! I was just laying in bed last night (at like, two in the morning) and though, shit, I really need to work out a good plot for this story. I don't want it to go down the drain like everything else. And I finally thought up something that makes perfect sense. It's too long to put here, but I'm so excited. I'd much rather work on that before I start my essay. Maybe I will just write out an outline, so I remember XD

I guess that's really all, for now >.>

2008-11-22T12:46:00.002-05:00

Mood: bored, restless

Music: Dou Nio Yao Bu Yaou - Tank

My internet wasn't working for almost a whole week, and before that it was being really finicky and it got to the point were I couldn't use my own internet a long time ago. But today I finally went down to the main computer and fixed it all, redid all of the settings and properly connected my computer the the router so I could have access to the internet and FINALLY it's working properly and I have full internet usage back again XD I'm very pleased with myself.

Also, last night I went to go see Twilight with Britty and Richard! and it was So good! I was really worried that it was going to be a completely crappy movie, cause the trailers looked So bad, but my friend went to see a midnight showing on Thursday night and said she was really impressed with it, so I was a little more optimistic. However, all of the screaming girls made me kind of nervous, but it was for nothing. They did a REALLY good job with the movie, so it was like a real movie and not just a telling from a book. I was impressed XD

I think one of the best things at the movie though, was the trailer for the 6th harry Potter movie. IT WAS SO EPIC! It looks totally AMAZING, and like, by far the best one yet! It was so sad, in the midst of all of these crazy twilight/edward cullen fangirls and me and Britty going "OMIGAWD HARRY POTTER! WE COULD HAVE BEEN SEEING THIS INSTEAD!" Cause you know, Harry Potter was supposed to come out last night, but no, they wanted a summer blockbuster so changed it to July >.> Ugh, so aggravating.

On another good note, we got our pins to apply to OUAC and the universities yesterday! I'm going to apply to my schools tomorrow, or during the week, i think. I just want to do a little more research on Guelph and Laurier before I apply XD. U of T is still my first choice though...

And yeahs. Nothing much more is new. I am for sure starting a diet on monday because American Eagle has so many nice clothes that I want and I am sick of not wearing what I want to because I am so self conscious. So yeahs. And I was supposed to go Christmas Shopping with my mum today but she's sick and sleeping so I don't think we're going >.> I really wanted to though . . .

Oh well.

2008-11-15T17:55:00.002-05:00

Mood: happy

Music: Stay Beautiful - The Last Goodnight

I found this new band today! Completely by accident too. I was using this new layout (that Brenna so nicely helped put up for me) and it came with this song called 'Pictures of You'. I really liked the song so i looked up the band and downloaded their new album, and it's great! They have a very different sound, and I really like it. It's so ice to stumble across a new band that has a really unique sound XD It makes me so happy!

So advise all of the imaginary people reading this to download them! they are superb!

Speaking of superb music, An Cafe released a new mini album! (Or a single, I guess). I really like it; their sound is really different then it used to be, but I think they've done really well after losing their guitar player and picking up two members. They've adapted to the new additions and make some good music. My favorite song on the new single is 'Kawayu's Rock', because it is as it is- it's a rock song. And the guitar is SO good (Takuya is an amazing guitarist) and it's just so good and fast paced. The other to are more techno rock, though I like them a lot to.

On the same topic, SuG's 'Punksitch' is also very good- much better than their album, ViviVi, I didn't like the sound in that one very much.

XD And there is my music update. There really isn't much else. I have lots to write story-wise,but I haven't the time to do it. Maybe I'll work on that tonight? XD

2008-11-11T19:35:00.002-05:00

Mood: somewhat tired

Music: Nyappy in the World 3

Just For Brenna, I will update this, though I hate updating it without a new layout >.>

Life is pretty much he same, as usual. I quit Tim Hortons for the second time, worked at Sobeys for like, three weeks, and decided I didn't like it. So now I am just going back to tim Hortons. I have it good there, so I should just stay. I get the hours I want, am good a my job, get along with most people who work there, and get to slack off like crazy. Plus it's right beside my school.

On another, more depressing note, I gained back a lot of the weight I lost TT^TT However, I am back to normal (I think?) And am going to walk every night and do sit ups and eat a lot less so I can lose ALL of the weight I want to in time for next semester. because I am going to sing in the coffee house and I want to look good for that XD And I want to look good for when i go to university. That will be my real chance and romance, I think.

I'm also going to start doing homework every day and try to get stuff done a little earlier. I've been doing better, but things are piling up again, so I think I need to work at it a little better. HOwever, despite my obvious slacking, I am doing EXTREMELY WELL in school. In Studies in Lit I have a 82% (which is a LOT better than I thought I was getting), History I have 88% and vocal I have 95%. I'm kind of sad that these marks don't count when we send out information to the universities >.>

Speaking of which, we get our pin number things from OUAC (Ontario University Application Center) On November 21st! Which means I can start applying to universities in December! I'm so excited! I'm going to apply to York, Guelph, U of T and maybe McGill, if I get around to doing research on it. However, I REALLY want to get accepted into U of T; most people think it's stupid to live in Toronto because it's still so close to home, but really it's an hour and a half bus ride from downtown Toronto to Newmarket, so for me it's far enough XD I don't hate my family THAT much XD

So yeah. Also, the Twilight movie comes out on November 21st! I am so excited to see Edward in his sunglasses- that was the selling point of the movie for me, really. I'm still sort of nervous about how the film will turn out, but I want to see it anyways.

So, I hope this is enough to appease brenna XD (I AM ON MSN, BTW)

So, yeahs.

2008-09-14T15:06:00.002-04:00

Music: Broken Youth - Nico Touches the Walls

Mood: tired, content

This post is really more for Brenna's benefit than my own, I think. But that's alright XD

It's been an incredibly hectic week, in my eyes - I mean, I DO get to go home at 12:05 everyday, which means I only have three classes, but somehow it still feels like I have no time to do anything else. probably because I work Monday, Thursday and Sunday, hang out with Brittany on the weekend and possibly once during the week, so my time for anything is limited. And then, the looming horror of having to do two seminars within the next three weeks makes me feel just a little more hectic. And I have another assignment due on Thursday, which is also the date of the university meeting (OMG! it's already starting!!!!!!!!!). Oh, and, I have a vocal solo tomorrow, which is a hell of a lot more stressful than it should be.

But I think that's because my music selection is limited. I mean, I have A LOT of music, like, a ton, but when it comes to finding something normal and low key to sing, especially when you need the karaoke/instrumental version, life gets a little more stressful. However, since it's the first one, we don't NEED a karaoke track; she just thinks gr.12's should have it. I think it's because we're the oldest in the class and shouldn't be scared - honestly, it's just hard for me to find a song to sing.

Moving on from that topic ...school pictures were last week! As per usual, I didn't order any, but you know, you need a picture for your student ID, and the yearbook, so I didn't want to look completely stupid. Honestly, I don't look completely stupid; it's actually a good picture of me (which is surprising), but it's the fact that I'm LAUGHING in my picture that makes me look stupid. Because, you know, it's a yearbook/ID picture, not a normal one. So, yeah. It could have been worse though; many of my friends had bad pictures. One's hair looked like it was blowing in the wing; but the pictures were in and the gym, and there was no wind. Another looked like she had 'cheek implants'. It was a good day though; I actually stayed and chilled with them through lunch, and we thought up Hallowe'en costumes. Except I'm going with Britty, but I didn't tell them XD I'll just let them think I'm going to be a part with them XD

Also, Jurita got back from Hong Kong last week, and she also went to Taiwan and Japan!!! She bought me three visual kei magazines form Japan, some charms and GUndam Seed stickers! XDD I was more than happy! XD Real this from Japan! There's even a charm with a yen sticker on it - Britty and I freaked about that XD It's good to have Jurita back; she's a bit of a dork, I guess, but I like she, she's so nice and we get along really well XD

Of course, life is awkward with JIll at school; she WAS in my first period class, but she dropped it. A little part of me thinks it's because I was in the class, but that's just egotistical; I think it's just because she doesn't do history- she didn't take it last year >.> At photo day though, she was at the table helping the teacher, and since I was kind of scared to go, so I just shoved Danielle in front of me and went to the teacher XD But she glared at me the whole time >.> Like REALLY glared: met my eyes and just glared, I was actually kind fo creeped out. ANd while I was waiting for my friends, she just kept like, staring/glaring at me, and it was kind of awkward because I was with everyone and laughing and stuff and she looked so ANGRY. I told my mum and she told me to be careful, because she thinks JIll is mentally unstable and has problems. Which she does XD Honestly though. And while I was waiting for Crystal and Jurita to get their pictures done, I was just standing holding the gym door, and she got up to leave, looked where I was holding the door, and just WALKED THROUGH THE OTHER!!!!! How immature is that? I mean, I even MOVED so she could walk through, while still holding it XD

Oh well. Life is good without her. Like really; most people have said I seem happier without her around. I also think that's it's because of many other things (pills, Jorden, Britty, friends, life) but that is a part of it, for sure.

Speaking of Jorden, I absolutely LOVE having him here; I know a lot of siblings don't get along very well, and it may seem kinda of pathetic, but he's honestly like, on of my best friends XD We went to my Grandma's on Friday, and I was like 'woah, this is cool, Jorden's with us,' XD. It's so nice though. I told him we were weird for being so close, but then he said that out ex-step brother and sister Luc and Lianne were (still are) just as close as we are, so it's not that bad. And it's true, they hang out a lot, and are friends with each others friends. So I guess it's not too weird.

And so, that's really the mostly important things of my life. I think XD

(Brenna, I'll try to be on tonight XD The next free night I have is Tuesday, unless I go to Britty's which I doubt, cause she has a long day at school the next day XD)

2008-09-09T17:39:00.002-04:00

Music: CRAWL - Veltpunch

Mood: sleepy, dissatisfied

My biggest concern of the half hour is that I need to change my layout. A new season means a new layout, in my eyes XD

My biggest concern of all time, however, if the feeling of loneliness and the thought that I'm missing out on what's supposed to be a fun-filled year with friends; celebrating the fact that this is our last year of high school before being turned out into the world. Except I'm left feeling uncontent; with my friends, job and life. SOme people spend all of their free time with their friends, while I spend my free time reading and trying not to die.

It's amazing how nothing changes, really. My friendships have change, yet the situation never changes. Somehow it's good, and somehow it's bad. OR maybe it's the cooling air and the loss of the warm summer air that's making me feel this way; fall is one of those romantic, happy seasons, in my eyes. To me, fall feels like you should be partying it up and have fun and enjoying what you can before you're locked inside with work.

But really, I guess it's all a result form my need to make more friends. I really want to meet new people,e make more friends and have a chance at a relationship. Somehow though, I feel like it won't happen this year XD I think I should get a new job though, on the other side of town; then I can work with people from other schools.

Otherwise, my life is good. My father caved, and my brother officially lives with us; though we are broke from the lawyers. Jurita is back, so I have entertainment at school. Britty and I are as close as ever, and my schedule rocks. Three periods, then I can go home. It's amazing. Next semester I have a spare first period, which I am not trading for ANYTHING, because god, I would love to be able to sleep until eight every morning!

Of course, there are downsides; I have no locker, Jill was sending homicidal glares at me today (scary, for sure. Really...), and I have gained weight. With all the stress and cravings that have been going on, I haven't had the chance to lose weight yet. But now I think I'm back on track. Hopefully. I'm going to go for a good long walk tonight though...

The other bad thing is that I haven't talked with Brenna in FOREVER. (I WILL BE ON TONIGHT FOR SURES UNTIL ABOUT 8:30, AND ON FOR SURE ALL TOMORROW AFTERNOON/ NIGHT!!!!!!! FOR SURE!!!!!!!!)

I have so much I want to say to her.

And sadly, homework is calling, so that's what I'm going to do. It's weird;I haven't done real homework and god knows how long.

. . .I'm sort of excited XD

......it's sad, I know >.>

three more days >.>

2008-09-01T11:50:00.004-04:00

Music: 88 - LM.C

Mood: satisfied, slightly anxious though

School starts again in three days! TT^TT;; It's so sad, really. I don't even know where the summer went! And for like, on of the first times ever, it was like, the best summer I've ever had! (Disregarding like, one week of it, but still). I don't want school to starts again, even if it means going into my last year and finishing high school forever (I'm like, uber excited about that, actually!). Still though ...

It's kind of bad, because for whatever reason, we got the same lockers we had last year, which sucks MAJORLY because I shared with Jill last year, but we're not friends at ALL anymore XD She was kind of like the female version of Shayne, so, yeah. For those who know, enough said, really. But like, for whatever reason, Josh didn't get his old locker that he had last year, which means I can't get the one he used to have, which means Im going to have to go around and ask someone to share with me, or ask for a new locker XD

It's so stupid; people don't always stay friends for a whole year XD

Anyways, I suppose other from that, school won't be SO bad. I somehow have to extra credits, so I can drop two courses this year if I have to XD I'll probably only end up dropping one though, so I can have a spare in both semesters. Speaking of which, I don't even know what I'm taking this semester, because they post your homeroom on the cafeteria windows, you go, and THEN you get your schedule.

...I hope I get a first period spare XD I would love to be able to sleep in like, majorly. Or even last period, because then I could just go home and start my homework early XD *sigh*

On the other hand, I FINALLY bought a pair of flats that actually don't hurt my feet, and somewhat fit properly XD They're like, a black and white plaid, and they're soo cute XD But at the store I was at, they don't have half sizes, so it was like, I could fit the eight, but it was tight because I have wide feet (sadly) and the nine was wide enough, but it's too long XD But I settled for the nine. However, it makes me happy to know that my feet can fit an eight, but they're wide so I need 8.5. It's just reassuring XD

I also bought another sweater form American Apparel! It's grey this time! XD (Britty, Jorden and I went to Toronto on Friday, and then Jorden and I went again while my parents went to the CNE; I've been there a lot lately XD). I also bought JOrden one, and in return, my mum bought me this really cute pink and grey sweater from D-TOX (pink, I know; I don't mind pink as much as I used to XD). Also, since I didn't need much school supplies, I got a new bad too! It's white, and it has a pink adidas logo on the front XD It sort of makes me like like a sports poser or something, but I like the bag XD

I also had to take my job back at Tim Hortons, which sucks. A lot. But oh well, at least I'm making money again.

(oh, and brenbren, when you read this: YOU DIDN'T COME ON ON THAT MONDAY NIGHT! XD So tell me another night you'll be one XD We SOOO need to talk! XD)

2008-08-15T15:26:00.002-04:00

Music: Jorden playing Kingdom Hearts

Mood: slightly anxious

I have been jobless for about three weeks now, and now that there's only about two weeks until school starts back up again, I'm starting to feel a little nervous XD I mean, I am supposed to be making money in order to go to school, especially if I am going to try and get into McGill, in Montreal. I would love to live in Montreal, it seems so much more glamorous than Toronto does XD I like Toronto and all, but Montreal seems so ...fashionable, I guess.

Normally at this time of year, i always find myself saying "Yeah, I'll try SO much harder in school this year," or "I'll put in as much effort as possible," but it rarely happens XD. However, last semester was pretty good on my part so maybe I will actually try hard this year? I think I have to; it is my last year and my marks have to be good for university applications XD

Anyways, the job issues is starting to become my main concern, and I just applied to a new game store that's opening up in the mall >.> I doubt I'll get hired, but I guess there's always the slightest chance? I may not have volunteer experience (which I still need to graduate >.>;) but I do have two years of work experience? I was SO close to getting a job at Sobeys, but they already had enough people, and the lady said if I had applied like two days earlier, I so would have been hired =.=;;

and that's what you get for procrastinating. Still, I don't know what I think of working at a game shop. What if it's only like, loser guys working there? =.=;; I'll have to try hard to be somewhat cool, I guess.

Speaking of cool, I also put on like, nearly five lbs TT^TT It's kind of pathetic, but I guess since all I've been doing is playing video games and cooking, I guess it's expected. I couldn't even go for a walk because I was sick for nearly two weeks and didn't want to make myself worse >.>;; Also, eating junk food with Britty doesn't really help. However, I've been eating somewhat healthier, and we're going to the store tomorrow, s I'm going to buy more Udon noodles and lilydale chicken so I can live off of rice and Udon noodles XD. I really wish I could learn to make Bentos like Brenna does XD. Maybe I should try? They looks so cute XD

*sigh* it's so boring. And dramatic, I suppose. There's so many family issues happening, and at the same time I feel as though nothing is happening >.>;

2008-07-23T23:53:00.002-04:00

Mood: happy/ excited

Music: WINDING ROAD - Ayaka

Finally, an update >.> My life has been so hectically busy that I haven't had the energy to do much outside of what I normally do. But now, I have finally found the will to update! Mostly, because I BOUGHT A NEW KEYBOARD TODAY!!! And I really wanted to test it out XDD

Honestly though, it's the keyboard that you normally see with the new silver macs, but Britty and I were testing them out today at Bestbuy, and I was like "I think I might buy this, I want a new keyboard, so I can type up my papers easier, and this keyboard is really easy to type on," And she was like "Yeah, I think I'll get it too, cause it's pretty and I have a class that will require typing papers," So we got them XD

In all honestly though, it's good for me. Because I am a fast typer, but with my regular keyboard, the keys are huge and really close together, and I always hit the wrong keys because I'm going too fast when I type. But with this one, the keys are farther apart and smaller, so I make WAYYY less mistakes than I normally do!!! It's really nice. It'll be good for school too, because I'm taking three English courses, which will surely require a lot of writing, plus other numerous history courses and one law course, which will most likely include a decent amount of paper writing. not to mention university applications. So hopefully this will make my life easier, and speed up the process of typing XDDD Less editing to do and all.

Anyways, on another note, my trip to Winnipeg was AWESOME! XD I had so much fun with brenbren and lena!!! Plus I got some amazing clothes (that I really haven't been able to wear, because I got stuck working so much, and there's no point in dressing up just to go to work >.>). But I enjoyed it a lot, and I can't wait till the next time I go back! We always have so much fun together~

Other things in my life have included: going to Britty's cottage and getting lost, catching up on D,Gray-Man, getting into Hitman Reborn and Soul Eater, my brothers, and QUITTING MY JOB!!!! That is the biggest thing, I think. I finally put in my two weeks notice last week, and I was so happy, despite the stress of having to deal with my manager and everybody telling me it was a bad decsicion on my part and I was making a mistake. the funny thing is though, all of the people I normally work with were supportive of me quitting and agreed with why Id id it, and also said they we're going too. It's only the daytime people (or the full time) who didn't want me to. Somehow, they haven't realized that Tim Hortons is not a career for me, and I don't need raises or promotions cause I only would have been there another year anyways, >.>

But it's over with, and I have to work my last four shifts (in a row) now TT^TT I work tomorrow, Friday Saturday and Sunday =.=;; It's going to be a long four days. Also, Britty has two jobs, so are time to just chill has been limited. On top of that, I need to find a new job sometime soon, because I'm supposed to be making a lot fo money to put away for school this year >.> But I just couldn't handle working at Tim HOrtons anymore I hate is so much, and have for such a long time TT^TT

Anyways, I think that is more than enough for one post, and I have most definitely tested out my keyboard and love it <333

on a side note, belphegor love!!!

SQUABEL!<3

2008-06-24T12:43:00.002-04:00

Mood: awkward.

Music: Ryuusei Rocket - An Cafe

Well. I have to wonder sometimes, how I always end up listening to people's life problems (I don't mind yours Brenna no worries. You're special :D) But that's kind of the point. Obviously I have no issues talking to certain people about their problems, but then like, other people break out the issues and it's like ...woah.

Especially the really bad family ones. Like, my friend asked "Can you imagine calling the police on your dad?" and I was going to reply with "Well, yeah, I think about it often, you know, just in case," But uh, I didn't think that would sound very sympathetic. Even if it's the truth. Cause you know, gotta have back up plans incase he decides he desperate to see me. I'm a little paranoid...

Anyways, point it: it's AWKWARD having to talk about super intense family problems with someone I don't know too too well. Especially when I would just call the police and get it over and done with. I mean, if your dad is trying to kill your mum ...isn't that what you should do?

And so it's awkward. partially cause to me my family is not like, some superior level of friends to me, they're just people I live with who happen to be as close as my closest friends who may be closer. Meaning my friends are more important than family, they ARE my family, it's just how I roll.

So it's hard for me to understand why someone wouldn't cal the police on their parents, especially when it will be beneficial for all in the long run.

ON THE BRIGHT AND HAPPY AND NOT SO DISTANT FUTURISH SIDE....WINNIPEG IN THREE DAYS. yeah. i'm excited XD

i mean, no stress, at all, hopefully a new job, no school, no douches from school, no dinky's to dal with....life's gonna be good,

...except for my brothers. cause that means ADD, drama, lack of privacy ,ADHD, retardedness and oughdliweg.

sometimes i wonder if i can actually give up my solidarity and handle having a sibling again, i OWN this house. i am alone and love it and can do what i want.

and then BAM, i have a brother again.

ugh. maybe it's just because i haven't seen them in six months? That's a really long time...

OH GOD WHAT DO YOU SAY TO SOMEONE WHO IS HAVING A BIGGER FAMILY CRISIS THAN YOU ARE?????

ughh. i need to go die. XD

not really. i wanna cook though~~

exams

2008-06-17T12:18:00.003-04:00

Mood: kind of nauseous, kind of worried

Music: Gekidou - UVERworld

So, it's that time of year. Exam time. FINALLY, it's all over~~ I've been waiting for the last (real) day of school for a while. And, I managed to get home early today, because I'm done everything and don't feel good XD I'm also not working, cause I'd like to review for the two exams I have tomorrow. Math and Hospitality; both should be pretty easy, especially since in both I get to have a cheatsheet! Not that I need one in math, but still.

Then, on Thursday, I have my english exam, where half is questions of Macbeth, and the other half is an essay on Frankenstein TT^TT gonna fail that one (I think my average went down to 79%, but the way TT^TT I had finally had an 80...). And then on Friday, I have my history exam, which requires some major review, I think. Mainly going over old tests to see what I did wrong.

And then I'm done! Exam consultation day is on the 25, and I think I might go just to check the marks, but not actually stay for the 'classes'. since they don't put exam marks on report cards and all (which I think is stupid- I wanna knwo what I got). And on the 24, I'm helping Mrs. A do cooking for the graduation ceremony, from 10-2, and possibly in the night too, so can get some volunteer hours XD

AND THEN, next Friday, I am going to Winnipeg :D It was supposed to be Monday, and god I wish it was, but eh. I'm ...sort of excited. With exams and never being home I kind of forget I'm going XD I'm happy to be going though.

Also, Crisis Core kicks MAJOR ass. It's so, so cool to learn the story that starts FFVII and stuff. like, i re-watched Advent Children (I love that movie) And it actually has a point now! It makes sense, now that I understand more of what's going on. I So, SO can't wait for the PS3 version of FFVII to be releasd (in the future...) because god, I wanna know more about the story TT^TT And I am so in love with Cloud Strife, he's so cool >.> And Zack! Zack is so adorable and amazing, and I don't understand how everyone paired Cloud and Aerith together, because Zack and Aerith are SO in love with each other!! Her wishes all put together was to spend more time with Zack :) It's so sad!! Especially cause I know Zack is going to die!!

Anyways, I'm gonna play Crisis Core now, the do review and possibly save Britty later XD

God, I love that game!!

todaytoday~~

2008-06-02T16:52:00.005-04:00

Mood: kinda sick, but kinda happy? ish

Music: TODAY - Angela Aki

All day I felt pretty sick to my stomach on and off. I'm not sure what's making my stomach so upset, but lately it's really been bother me. I'm going to stop talking my pills to see if it makes a difference at all >.>

Hospitality sucked today. Mrs.A turned the oven on and told Lucy and I to put the brownies in (because it was the one we don't really use much, and she did it since we didn't know how) and since she said it was ready we just put them in and set the timer. Except Mrs. A PUT THE OVEN ON BROIL. And we didn't know, so the brownies burned. And she got mad at us >.> It was HER fault though.

Ugh. and math is really annoying. We're doing 2D and 3D shapes and whatnot, and right now we're doing perspective drawings and ugh. I should have taken the U/C level, this is too boring >.> I'm also really behind in History (I have so many notes to catch up on) and in English too, I'm missing notes. I'll have to work hard >.>

I decided, for sure this summer, I will finally learn to play my guitar, ad I might start up piano/keyboard again. Britty said she'll buy a cello (they're cheap somewhere) and learn to play, but if not she'll master the piano XD She's also resuming saxophone. That way, we can tap into our more music sides XD I'm not sure why either of us dropped out of band (well, she's an art student through and through, but she's really a music student too). I think I should have stayed in band >.>

However, this summer, I'll also take writing more seriously, redo one story, work hard on another, and plan the other out. I was tempted to try and learn to draw, but it really does take time, and time is limited for me. I should just try and work on what I'm okay at.

My main priority is the one with Tyler. It's definitely been ruined, I really had a plot for it in the beginning and all but it was hard to write it how i wanted it when I had to make sure it stayed true to Jill's wishes. I also prefer first person perspective, cause it's easier for me to write, but Jill hates it, so I took up third person, which I'm no good at. However, now that we're not friends anymore, I think I can run free with it, even if most of the characters are hers >.> I think I'll change it so most become mine. I had good ideas for that story.

Basically, Tyler is the prophet/oracle that will either be the downfall/savior of the universe, and there is a group out to bring him back, cause he belongs to them, but he's like the key, and once they have him the power to control the universe is theirs. Nimbus is the nephew of Lucifer/the heir of Satan/the son of God, Cirrus is his twin angel brother, Apollo is a lord who went to school with Nimbus and fell in love with Nimbus and had a relationship with Nimbus. SOMEONE (who is yet to be determined) kind of ruins that relationship. Deimos is STILL the illegitimate child of Nimbus ( he always was, always will be. It works with them). And Deimos and Tyler eventually end up together.

...and a real plot is forming! Go me!!!

Next on the list is the unnamed one with Gary and Maverick. Gary is a hybrid human/alien, and was taken as an experiment. He's pretty much been tortured by the military, and has been on the run since he was 15. Maverick is actually a failed attempt at creating an human/alien hybrid, but he doesn't know, and is a medic (soon to be assassin) for the military. He meets Gary when he's 12 and Gary is 13, breaks Gary out when he's 14 and Gary is 15, and are best friends at 18 and 19. They eventually fall in love. Basically though, LONG tim ago, the military invaded a plant in another galaxy that's similar to Earth (as we all know, Earth will one day be all used up, and that's what happened) and forced the 'aliens' residing there to take refuge on Earth or be annihilated. It's pretty much one big conspiracy, and there's like, a rogue group that Gary and Maverick eventually join, along with other friends and unravel the truth.

I also have one about a boy named Zack, who has just been dumped by his (girly) boyfriend (for a GIRL) and is depressed. So his friends bring him out to buy a new video games (since he has worn out Cloud Strife. And I don't know if it's relevant, but Zack is Japanese American - he was raised in California, but is fluent in Japanese, since his parents are immigrants). He buys a game with an intriguing case, and meets a girl named Mika, who says mysterious things. Eventually, he gets dragged into a different world (tat is under the guise of the video game) and gets dragged into corrupt country and basically helps them to fix things. He also meets Miku and Raj, runaway soldiers (all children 14 and over become soldiers), and falls in love with Miku. I still have a lot fo planning to do with this one too.

Then, my last newest one is about vampire hunter Constance Marshall (who is a boy, contrary to his name). I was gonna make it a love story but I might just make it about Constance and his best friend (I forget his name now) who was turned into a vampire. Meaning, Constance has to hunt him down and kill him. Drama and such. I haven't thought about it too much.

And then, I would like to write something simple, an easy love story or something. I'll think of that later too.

Wow. So much stuff in one entry. I should prolly do homework now.

>.>

2008-05-30T10:59:00.002-04:00

Mood: pleased

Music: Sakurairo - Angela Aki

I get to stay home today! Because there isn't much going on at school, and I didn't want to go. Actually, today is the Relay for Life, and as cruel as it is, I really didn't want to do it. I'm scared of spending 12 hours with people from school, it's like, traumatizing for me. I'm going to hand in the money I got on Monday though, so it'll still sort of be helping.

But since most people will be gone this afternoon, my mum said I'm old enough to decide whether or not I need to go to school, and since I know nothing much is happening today, I decided to stay home. I did yesterday too, but that was because I was having anxiety issues about today :)

I'm going to Winnipeg in, 24 days?! I'm so excited, my parents and I are going from June 23 to July 3rd. Eleven days! And I get to stay with Brenna while I'm there, and visit Lena, so I'm really happy! I'm so excited!! And I'm exercising more so I can look better when I go. Also, Shayne and I had a really good talk yesterday, so I think if he's home I might ask him if he wants to go out for lunch or something XD I'll have to make sure to look really good so I can like, I dunno. Make my point XD

Anime North last weekend was really fun, next year will be so much better though! Both me and Britty are going to get a table, and I will just also sell her stuff, so then we can sit next to each other. We're also going to do D.Gray-Man cosplay! We were both going to be Allen, but there was this one Kanda and Lavi couple, and they were so cute =.=;; they we're sitting down, and Lavi was playing Kanda's sword, and Kanda took it and stabbed him with it, and I was like, cosplay would look so good if we went as two different characters, cause it's cute like that. So now Britty is going to go as Allen, and I am going to go as Lenalee (I get to be a girl that way!) and it works cause they are like, best friends XD It'll be fun.

I got a lot fo keychains and charms from artists alley, because it's stuff I will never really see again. Some of the people there are SO good! I loved buying their things :D

I'm so excited for Winnipeg though! It'll totally keep me going through the next two weeks!

2008-05-18T13:39:00.003-04:00

Mood: kind of tired

Music: So Much Love - The Rocket Summer

This week has been such a stressful week >.> I had a project due, and a seminar, and everything was just dying. The project wasn't working and I was so stressed out I made myself sick >.> But it turned out, and now it's over, and it's a long weekend this weekend :D Also, my mum let me call in to work (because I was so stressed out this week) so I get this whole weekend off, AND next weekend.

BECAUSE ANIME NORTH IS NEXT WEEKEND. I'm a little excited, mostly to take pictures and buy everyone else's art. It'll be fun to look around too, even if I'm not dressing up this year XD.

Yesterday my mum and my Nanny Gay and me went to Toronto and went shopping XD It was nice (except for the fact that my stomach is still really sensitive from the stress and my lunch made me feel really sick). It was really cool to walk around and realize that next year I'm going to be LIVING in that city, if I get into U of T or Ryerson XD I hope I do, I really, REALLY want to live in the city. It's so freakin' awesome and diverse. And there's like, So much stuff.

Plus, the U of T campus is HUGE. It's over two city blocks east west, and further back North? It's huge.

I got some nice clothes. Not as many as I wanted, but I'll drag Britty there before I go to Winnipeg to get a few more clothes, after I've lost some more weight. But I got a pair of Levi's jeans ($98.00 WITHOUT tax) and they are SOO soft and beautiful. I love them XD And, Urban Outfitters is an AMAZING (but expensive) store. They had SO many cool clothes :D

I'm going to apply to Starbucks today. It's making mer kind of nervous, but I have to do it, I REALLY need a new job. I hate working at Tim Hortons >.>

And I wish Britty would call. I wanna hang out with her XD

d.gray-man!♥

2008-05-04T18:26:00.003-04:00

Mood: eager and restless

Music: Kiss me Good-bye - Angela Aki

D.GRAY-MAN = LOVE.!!!

Seriously! I am only on episode 12 (out of eighty- so far! They're still going!) And it is so amazing! The picture is (a crappy one) of Allen Walker, the main character. HE IS SO CUTE!!!! SO HUGGABLE!!!!

Honestly, it all started with this really nice fanart Britty and I found on deviantart, and then we decided we had to watch it XD So we have. Except she's proly about 50 episodes ahead of me now TT^TT How she finds time to live I'll never know.

So along with that, I HAVE MAJOR NEWS.

. . .I FINALLY FOUND A PLUSHIE OF RIKU!!!!!

♥♥♥

I was so happy! I have been looking for one since forever! Especially at Anime North last year! They didn't even have one!! Britty and I took the bus to P-Mall (it was a pretty epic adventure, trying to figure out the Toronto bus routes and all >.>) and when we got to our favorite store and looked at the plushies, I nearly died. I actually saw the plushie of Kairi first, and was like "Oh, so they make ones of Kairi, but they don't make Ri- . . .ku!!!!!! OMG!!!

So Britty bought it as my (late) birthday present XD I was very happy.

Also, my brother (Jeremy) sent me a card! It was a week late, but I didn't mind; the card was freaking awesome! It was a south park card, with Jimmy and Timmy, and when you open it, Timmy screams his name and makes his little noise thingie XD (cause he's the retarded child ^^;;) It made my mum and I laughed so hard though. Especially since he taped all these coins to the card XD

Another good thing, is that I can fit some of the old pants I kept! Which means I have lost more weight! (I weighed myself, and I have XD) I just have to work a little harder, and I will be pretty when I go to Winnipeg~~

I would love to see Shayne just so I could shove it in his face. Even if he doesn't really care, it will just make me feel good XD To show him up after everything.

I played FF12 yesterday (I never did get Crisis Core, I was so distraught TT^TT), and I'm tempted to play more/write/ watch more D.Gray-Man, but I haven't worked on my essay and it's due Tuesday. I really should get a move on that ^^;; So much for my no procrastinating. But it was hard! I had like, zero homework this week, so I didn't really have to do anything. I guess I should work on it now >.>

o(≧∀≦)o nyappy!!!

P.S. - It's already May! Apparently school is out in exactly 30 days! I'm so excited~~

I can't post notes on Facebook TT^TT

2008-04-25T16:13:00.004-04:00

Mood: normal

Music: Rainbow - Denki Groove

So, my birthday ended up being okay, and now I am seventeen. It's really weird when I stop to think about it. Really weird, because I remember four years ago when I turned thirteen, how warm the sun felt when I was outside with brandi, how I got sheets, how I had to pretend to love them to make Tracey happy. I remember the way the sunlight streamed through all of the windows, and how Brandi was late. But I was happy to have her there.

I even remember five years ago, when there were so many of us crowded onto the middle floor of our house, a party, and we gave massages and drew on backs and it felt nice :) But it's weird to think about it. To think about how things have changed so much, and how incredibly quickly life speeds by.

It's weird. But regardless, my birthday this year turned out good. I got an extension on my paper, so I went to Britty's house and hung out with her. Then her, me and Richard went to Best-Buy, the hospital (he had to drop some stuff off for his dad) And then we went to Wild Wing and ordered some AMAZING chicken wings. Then while we waited, we hung around Rogers, and earlier in the hospital parking lot, me and Britty just sang for about half an hour, waiting for Richard XD Then we went back with the wings, ate them all, and then Britty and I walked over to my house.

AT my house, we went on the computer, then my mum came home. So we went downstairs, and had cake. My mum is really good at decorating cakes, and this year she made me a sunflower, with even a stem and little bugs on it. It was so cute. And I opened presents. I got a cookbook (finally!!), really nice lotion and body wash, a book on bonds with mothers and daughters (my mum is trying to make me conform XD), really nice Dove go-fresh stuff, and my PSP!!! I was so happy! She bought a game that my brothers told her to get, but it's those games where you move on a board and fight battles after battle, so we're returning it XD She doesn't mind though.

And my dad and my brother sent me stuff in the mail. I'm assuming I'll get it next week. But it was good. I had dun XD

And without further ado, the note I can't post on Facebook anymore TT^TT

The Opposite Sex.

1. Guitar or Drum Player: guitar!!!!
2. Skater or Surfer: skater
3. Brown or Blue Eyes: prolly brown, I like dark eyes
4. Blonde or Brunette: dark hair :D
5. Brains or Looks (Be honest!): as long as they're not complete idiots, I'll go with looks >.> Sorry

Food.

11. Hamburger or Hotdog: streetdogs!!
12. Pie or Cake: cake!
13. Apple or Banana: banana
14. Coke or Pepsi: coke
15. Chicken or Beef: chicken
17. Pancakes or Waffles: pancakes!!
18. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
19. Strawberry or Cherry: strawberry
20. Watermelon or Cantaloupe: ewwwwwww
21. Potato salad or Macaroni Salad: potatoe
22. Bread or Biscuits: biscuits <3
23. Chocolates or Candy: chocolates
24. Sausage or Bacon: turkey bacon!!!
25. Fries or Onion Rings: fries

Sports.

26. Badminton or Tennis: badminton! good times lena XD
27. Swim or Track: track
28. Tennis or Golf: tennis
29. Skiing or Sledding: sledding i fail at skiing
30. Bicycling or Jogging: jogging

Stores/Restaurants.

31. McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds!!
32. Popeye or Jollibee: ...popeye?
33. Old Navy or Addidas: old navy
34. Hollister or Abercrombie: abercrombie XD
35. Albertson's or Vans: vans!!

Clothes.

36. Pants or Shorts: pants!
36. Zip-Up or Pull-Over Hoodie: pull over all the way!!
37. Heels or Flip-Flops: flip flops
38. Dresses or Skirts: . . .dresses, actually. i think you can do more
39. Mittens or Gloves: mittens!! <33
40. Print or Solid: ....solid?

Names.

41. Bob or Bill: BOB!!!
42. Jessica or Jennifer: jennifer
43. Aaron or Erin: Erin
44. Carrie or Kari: Kari
45. Todd or Tom: Tom
46. Lynn or Lee: Lee
47. Sarah or Susie: Susie
48. Jack or John: Jack
49. Lisa or Linda: Lisa
50. Mike or Nick: Nick

Music.

51. Punk or Rock: ...visual kei? XD rock
52. Pop or Alternative: alternative
53. Rap or Techno: techno
54. Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera: christina has a way better voice
56. Korn or Staind: ....
57. Limp Bizkit or Linkin Park: linkin park
58. Guitar or Drums: guitar <3
59. Piano or Violin: SO HARD ..piano, cause you can sing to it
60. CDs or Radio: CD's

TV.

61. Dawson's Creek or 7th Heaven: ....dawson???
62. Angel or Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Angel
63. Law and Order or The Practice: ...i've only heard of law and order
64. One Tree Hill or The OC: the OC
65. Smallville or Charmed: smallville

Cinema.

66. Bruce Willis or Bruce Lee: bruce lee
67. Jennifer Love Hewitt or Neve Campbell: ....
68. Aladdin or Lion King: Lion King
69. Snow White or Sleeping Beauty: Sleeping Beauty
70. Comedy or Drama: drama XDD
71. Horror or Science Fiction: SCI-FI!!!!!!!!! <33333
72. Scream or I Know What You Did Last Summer: ....i dunno
73. Not Another Teen Movie or Scary Movie: not another teen movie
74. Titanic or Pearl Harbor: pearl harbour??
75. The Mask or Ace Ventura: neither

Computer/Video Games.

76. AOL or MSN: msn
77. Dogpile or Google: google
78. Mac or PC: mac!!!
79. PS2 or N64: PS2
80. Mario Brothers or Zelda: ZELDA!!!!!!

School.

81. Pen or Pencil: mechanical pen
82. English or History: english!!!
83. Math or Science: math
84. Home Economics or Woodshop: home ec
85. Backpack or Messenger Bag: messenger bag

Animals.
86. Cat or Dog: cat
87. Fish or Hamster: ...niether
88. Lions or Tigers: tigers
89. Butterfly or Lady Bugs: butterfly
90. Seals or Otters: otters

quizz to ignore schoolwork >.>

2008-04-23T18:45:00.002-04:00

Mood: stressed and sleepy

Music: Wait for Me - Rie Fu

I'm procrastinating, or taking a break. Since I'm going to stay up late tonight. -.-;;

It's my birthday tomorrow, ad I really wish it wasn't. I don't want any attention, I just want to go out with britty, and get a cake. That's all. But somehow more people than I thought know about it. I must have mentioned it more than I wanted to =.=;; It will be so awkward when I get home and it is just me, my mum and Rob.

And I lost my glasses, which is really bad because my eyes have gotten a lot worse and I've been wearing them a lot lately. It sucks TT^TT

Without further ado; the note thing.

1. If you could say anything to the person who has hurt you most in life what would you say?
i hate you. I HATE YOU. I FUCKING HATE YOU.

...and i kind of miss the good times.

2. When will your next kiss be?
. . . in my dreams? XD

3. What song are you listening to?
Save - The Rocket Summer

4. Who does it remind you of?
i don't know, i've never listened to it well

5. What was the last movie you saw?
no idea

6. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
britty

7. What CD is in your stereo?
a burned one in my shower stereo

8. Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn't?
it ended but I'm glad it did

9. Last person you ditched class with?
uh, miranda

10.Last girlfriend you hung out?
britty

11. What are you most looking forward to?
summer!!

12. What are your nicknames?
sam, samsam, sammi, sammo, etc

13. Describe your dream life:
i don't know

14. Where would you like to live?
a city

15. Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
no idea

16. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
dunno

17. What're your relations with the top 4 people in your top friends?
they're my friends

TOP TEN THINGS ABOUT YOU
18. Are you single? i'm married to lena . . .?
19. Are you happy? not at the moment
20. Are you bored? no
21. Are you Italian? nope
22. Are you pregnant? NO
23. Are you cool? temperaturewise, yes.
24. Are you Irish? no
25. Are your parents still married? nope

TEN LASTS:
26. Last phone call you made: to britty
27. Last phone call you received: my mum
28. Last person you hugged? no idea, prolly britty
30. Last person you MSNed? no clue
31. Last text message you received? one from telus
33. Last person who slept in your bed other then you? no one
34. Last person you laughed with? dunno. i don't think i laughed today, actually >.>

Other:
35. Name and middle name? samantha alane
36. What holiday is your birthday closest to? earth day
37. Favorite fruit? apples

38. Does it bother you when someone says they'll call you and they dont?
yep. cause i sit around anxiously waiting

39. A random girl approaches you asking your name, you say...
" . . . uh . . .sam?"

40. Is there something you want?
yes

41. What do you say if someone tells you you're gorgeous?
no one has ever called me that. but i'd laugh at them.

42. What do you hate about your school?
many things

43. What are you doing besides this survey?
ISU report

44. Do you trust all of your friends?
no, only some

45. What is your worst habit?
procrastination

46. Last thing you ate?
food

47. Listening to now?
I Was So Alone - The Rocket Summer

48. Where would you want to go on a first date?
the city, or a show. and i would love to eat on the CN Tower one day =D

49. When is the last time you were hugged?
dunno, monday?

50. When was the last time you laughed?
no idea

51. What made you laugh?
don't remember

52. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
no

53. Ever been kissed in the rain?
nope

54. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
uh, no.

55. Are you a racist?
XD no

56. What are you wearing?
clothes

57. What's your favorite song at the moment?
lena, i sang that for vocal! and it was. Now it is .... TV Family, by the Rocket Summer

58. Have you met any new people?
uh, maybe

59. Who is the last person who hurt your feelings?
. . .dunno. josh, probably

60. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
no

61. Have you ever been punched?
maybe. yeah.

62. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
shoulders, hair

63. What are your plans for tomorrow?
sschool, p-mall

64. What time do you usually go to sleep?
10-12

65. Tomorrow is:
thursday . . .

66. Bad thing about tomorrow?
birthday TT^TT

67. Are you comfortable with your height?
i actually wish i was shorter

68. Do you speak any other language other than English?
no

69. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
yes

70. Has anyone you were close to passed away?
not really

71. What color is your hair?
blonde

72. When is the last time you cried?
i dunno

73. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
yes. driving with richard.

74. Last time you were on a plane?
last summer

75. Do you like anyone at the moment?
. . .

76. If so, do you think they like you back?
haha.

77. What is your favorite holiday?
i dunno

78. What's something rebellious that you've done recently?
nothing

79. What's the best thing that's happened to you recently?
i don't know

80. When are you most happy?
With friends.

Oh. and, I totally had the weirdest dream last night. But it's actually embarrassing, so I'm not saying anything >.>

Well, sort of embarrassing. But more or less really, really weird, especially for me to dream that...

>.<

2008-04-22T19:40:00.002-04:00

Mood: tired

Music: OH YEAH - YUI

I got off work early tonight, thank god. I have so much homework to do TT^TT I was even invited to go out for lunch with some friends tomorrow, but I'll have to stay behind and do work in the library, because i have a paper due on Friday and I lost my research. I think I accidently deleted it off of my memory stick =.=;;

And, Kelly is more of Jill's friend, but I think she hates me now =.=;; Both Jurita and Britty said it's probably because I don't talk to Jill anymore, but that's so stupid. I mean, I smiled at her (Kelly) and she glared at me o.O I mean, it's not that big of a deal, cause I wasn't really friends with her, but I mean, come on. How childish is that?

People are so immature >.> But on the other hand, I totally aced my trig test! I was the first one done, within like, twenty minutes, I think. Or less, I didn't pay much attention, but that teacher was so happy, and surprised XD She even looked over it and said they were all right. Well, the diagram and answers were XD I'm so glad I can do well this year.

I was supposed to go to Pacific mall tomorrow with Britty (she's home now! It's so nice that she's back, even though I need to focus on school still), but I have so much homework, so we rescheduled for Friday. It's a little sad because she was going to get my birthday present, but now it'll be a day late. Oh well, it's just a birthday, and she's making me supper XD

Also, she found a recipe for rice balls, and she's going to make them a way we'll like them. I'll get her to send me the recipe tomorrow, so I can make them! I hope I like them, so I can bring them for lunch XD We've been in such an asian mood, and bought new clothes yesterday too XD They're cute~

I also will probably have to stay with her for a week in May, while my parents go to Florida with my step-dad's parents. It will be fun, but I want to see if there is anyway I can stay at home alone. I'll be with her the whole weekend anyways. But I remember a few years back my mum saying there was a possibility I would be allowed to stay home alone once I turned seventeen. And I will be seventeen in two days, so yeah XD But I won't mind staying with her.

I can smell cake! I can't wait to have it~ <3

o(≧∀≦)o nyappy!!!

summer is coming~

2008-04-18T15:23:00.004-04:00

Mood: sleepy, but pleased

Music: dareka no nagai ga kanaukoro - Utada Hikaru

Today is so so nice out! It's 25 degrees Celsius, and everyone was so happy at school today. Since it's Friday, and so nice out nobody could really concentrate! I had to walk home though, and my shirt was backless, so I was wearing a sweater, and I was dying =.=;;

So Britty and I decided to go and get some new summer clothes tomorrow. I'm not going to get too many, just a new pair of jeans and some shirts, because I want to lose more weight before I buy a new wardrobe, and I want my mum to buy most of my clothes, so I can save some money XD

I was up until 2:30 am working on a project last night, and it turns out I pretty much wasted all of my time, because I didn't even use half of the information I wrote up. I wrote so much, and just ended up reading off of the paper I wrote >.> Ah well. It's over now, and I think I got a decent mark XD

I also got my report card today! I guess I was pretty happy, but I only have a 78% in english, which is depressing because that is what I want to go to school for >.> However, one of the smart kids the teacher loves has the same mark, so sadly, I think that is a decent mark coming from our class >.> But I'll try harder to bring it up, I really need at least a low eighty in that class. I also have 75% in world history, but that's because I didn't hand in a paper >.> Hopefully I can bring that up too. On the bright side, I have 87% in math, 87% in hospitality, and 84% in vocal rep, which gives me an average of 82.2%! It's a start, especially since I'm trying to bring my average up from the seventies it's been sitting at for the last three years >.> I'll have to keep working hard!

Even if it's really tiring TT^TT

So, that is pretty much my life, in a nutshell XD

Oh, and we had a butter fight at work yesterday :)

It was entertaining~

procrastination ...

2008-04-15T20:22:00.003-04:00

Mood: a little stressed

Music: Anytime - Koda Kumi

Another post >.> I really should be doing some homework, since I have so much I need to get done in the next two weeks, but I really hadn't counted on Britty calling me, which in total loses me an hour of homework time now that I had to push my internet time back >.>

Ah well. I'll just stay up sort of late XD And least I have all of tomorrow to do some stuff, and Friday night TT^TT

However, I am not looking forward to work on Sunday, since Josh took the shift I wanted (3-11) and left me all alone on 8-4 with dinkies >.> I don't want to be stuck with incompetent people TT^TT I'm worried about how the day will go without Josh around (he is really good, he's good at everything >.> we NEED him)

Still, I got 90% on my scrapbook that I gave my life away for, so that was good. I also got 72% on a grammar test I was sure I failed, and 82% on another test that we got to use our notes for. I could have done better, if I had added a few things into my notes, but oh well. It's still good. And, I have an 87% in math. Honestly, I was kind of disappointed because I had a 95% a few weeks ago, but I guess I'm missing two things, and got my first eighty on a test XD. College level math is so easy XD

Also, this Saturday, Britty's mum is picking me up in the morning and I am going with her to help Britty back up and move out of her dorm! I'm so excited to see where she has been living, and possibly meet all the people she's been talking about! XD Although the ride with her mum may be a little awkward XD But I'm used to her mum, so it should be okai.

She has been talking about the anime Code Geass a lot. At the moment, I'm (finally!) watching Eureka Seven, and almost done, so I'm a little obsessed with that right now, but she's going to show me the first five episodes on Saturday, when we get to her house. I remember seeing an article on the show a year or so ago, and I had wanted to watch it, but never bothered to look it up XD Apparently now it's really popular, so I'm going to throw myself into that next. I've been slacking on my anime and watching dramas instead >.>

I guess I should really do my homework now, it would be good if I got at least one of my three papers out of the way >.>

NYAPPY!!o(≧∀≦)o

school school~~

2008-04-14T09:57:00.002-04:00

Mood: kinda sleepy
Music: Beautiful World - Utada Hikaru

It's sort of depressing to make a post and not have a picture to put up >.> I like the idea of having a visual representation of my mood XD

Currently, I am at schol, in room 310, the computer lab. I should actually be getting information on my presentation for Hospitality, but the region of Ontario I have is SO stupid, and I don't know anything about the province >.> I only know about the city XD So, I have gathered as much as I felt I could, and I suppose I will just fake my way through the rpesentation, like normal XD

I really hate these keyboards. As I mentioned to lenachan in a random email, the keys are all stuck, and it's dirty TT^TT I don't even want to think about all the germs on here >.>

Ah well. So, this is kind of nice. I have a paper due on Thursday, which is the same day as my presentation, but I should be able to make headway on that. I also have a paper due on the 25, and another on the 28th. I'm hoping to get both of them done by Wednesday of next week, since the 24th of my birthday, and I am may be going out for supper, or at least just chilling with Britty.

I was kinda depressed about my birthday, at first. I don't mind getting older (yet), but I was kinda lonely, I wanted to be in Winnipeg. Cause if I was in Winnipeg, I'd spend it with Brenna and Lena, and that would be so fun~ But, oh well. I'm here, and will just have to make do with my lacking social life. Britty and I always have a good time anyways. And plus, I am going to Winnipeg in the summer, so I can see bren and lena then =)

Also, Britty is going to take me to her cottage! XD I'm so excited, she said we could go seadooing, and I haven't done that in such a long time, since I moved from Winnipeg, which has been almost two years now. It's kind of crazy, two years already XD But, yeahs. I'm so excited to go to her cottage with her, she's always alone, and she said it's going to be the first time she's ever brought a friend with her XD We'll terroize some people, I'm sure, and have an anime filled lake week XD

And, we get report cards this week! I'm excited to see how I'm doing! I hope I'm getting all eighties, at least. I also get my scrapbook ISU mark tomorrow, which I'm really excited for XD I worked so hard on it!

There's so much to say, even though I'm just talking to myself XD I should update more!

nyappy!! XD

(haha, the sub just made fun of me for having this open XD)

you look like the songs that i've heard my whole life coming true

2008-03-23T16:39:00.003-04:00

Mood: contentish

Music: So Much Love - The Rocket Summer

My mum totally surprised me this morning and left a huge bag of chocolate for me on the island, before I went to work. I was pretty happy, I only expected like, a cream egg or something. However, work was totally horrible and busy (Why? It's Easter, stay inside!!) and I found out I have to work tomorrow too, because Josh needs to go to the city and visit his friend from B.C. So I took his shift. And kitty handed in her two weeks notice TT^TT

And I was SO looking forward to just chilling and starting my ISU. It's due in a week, and I haven't started it >.> Now I can't TT^TT

However, I ran into Richard, an he gave me a ride home, because he was running errands for work, and he wanted to waste time :) So that was good. And I've also discovered the Rocket Summer, which is SUCH a good band (one person only, I think?) The guy has the neatest voice, I love it.

I REALLY don't want to work tomorrow, it's so depressing >.> Maybe they won't need me.

And now I have to suffer through family that isn't quite my family but I can't understand most of them. They're all German and or Italian, intensely. Well, the older people. The people my parents age are easier to talk to, but the kids kill me >.> I wish Jorden was here, he acts as a buffer and entertains the kids for me, so I don't have to suffer XD

Ah well.

2008-03-15T12:37:00.002-04:00

Mood: something

Music: Saigo no Kajitsu - Maaya Sakamoto

It's a little disheartening to find out an old friend is definitely not doing well and that maybe they never considered you as a previous best friend.

Life got so screwed up. I wish I had taken the time to keep in touch with other people, especially those I hadn't wanted to forget about.

Moving on, I'm having a toaster strudel dilemma. I want them so badly, but I have to wait until we go to the store to get them. At least my mother is awake now, she sleeps more then I do >.>

My parents are seriously thinking about going to Winnipeg in the summer. I hope we can go. It would be so SO nice to go (and I wouldn't have to pay for the plane ticket for once). I like going to Winnipeg, even if it's nothing compared to the bigger and better city of Toronto. It's still my home, I guess. And it's sunny more often there. Plus, I get to see friends and do stuff I normally can't do.

Though, it has been sunny here all week. It's a nice change from the usual clouds. Spring will be here soon :)

...Along with my birthday. That kind of creeps me out, every time I remember, it's like a big slap to the face.

I wonder if Brenna will come online today, especially since I think I will just stay home today. I'm tired after working for six days. I will never work so early in the morning again. 4:20 is not a nice time to wake up.

I wish Britty was home, it looks so nice out today. I want to go somewhere.

2008-03-08T16:14:00.002-05:00

Mood - restless

Music - Shizukana Yoru Ni - Rie Tanaka

So, March break officially started ...yesterday. And I kicked it off by playing video games, baking cookies, then staying over at a friends house, which was good. We took a very long time making supper, so we weren't forced to go swimming, and it was okay.

We also watched watched clips (and an actual episode) of Stormhawks. Honestly, it is such a good show, it makes me laugh. Plus, it has the English voice actors for Kira and Athrun from Gundam Seed as two of the main characters (Sam Vincent and Matt Hill). It's especially amusing because it's Kira and Athrun talking, but they sound happy, which, Kira and Athrun rarely ever sound like. There's this one episode where Fin (Kira) screams like a girl, and all I can picture is Kira screaming, so it makes me laugh. (Kira is SO my favorite anime character of all time).

We also cut my hair! If Britty fails at animation (which she won't) then she should definitely become a hairdresser, because she did such a good job. My mum was so impressed, and surprised when I told her it was Britty who did it. It's so short and layered now, it's cute~

It's storming AGAIN here, which really bothers me, because by this time of year it's supposed to be warming up. But it's not. It's snowing intensely with extremely heavy winds that I can hear through the walls. Mugh, it's annoying. I want spring to hurry up and come.

Eh. And now I'm bored, because we can't go anywhere, 'cause the highways are bad. Also, I start working all next week, 5:30 am to 1:30 pm. Apparently the shift goes by extremely quickly, 'cause you hit both rushes, but I'm kind of apprehensive about losing all of that sleep. I was looking forward to catching up on sleep, but not it's not going to happen >.>

Oh well. There's a four day weekend right after March break, so I have that!

2008-03-01T16:14:00.002-05:00

Mood: bored

Music: Escapism - An Cafe

Ah, the weekend. Is a nice thing, besides having to work tomorrow at eight, but that will go by fast.

It's also nice because spring break starts on Friday (it's a PA day, so we have no school). Sadly, I can't go to Winnipeg like I wanted to, but I'm working full time to make money for school. So, I have to work six days in a row, but I asked for morning shifts >.>

In March, we don't have a single full week of school. This will be fun =)

I bought an eleven dollar sweater yesterday, and I'm happy cause it's warm and nice, and cheap. I also bought a new eyebrow ring, although I kinda has some issues with that. It's a little disgusting to put in an eyebrow ring, because it's your EYEBROW. Anyways, I stabbed it a few times by accident, and it swelled up, so I couldn't put it in. I managed to get it in today though, and it looks okay. It's a black studded one. XD

Murr, what a random post. I guess the fact that I don't have too much to talk about means there isn't too much drama happening, besides my issue with that one person, but it's okay. I'm happy, I just need to figure out how to explain it to her...

Eh, oh well.

It's a clear day, those are my favorite kind <3

2008-02-24T17:36:00.002-05:00

Mood: cheerful

Music: 1234 - Feist

So, finally, after a week or two, my mood has finally lifted, and I feel normal again. Of course, I had to go through a whole bunch of drama but that's usual. Regardless of whatever was bothering me, it's now okay. And I feel sane.

So. My biggest thing now, is university. Sometimes, it feels like a year and a half is too long. But then, now that we're going through our courses for nest year, it seems a lot closer, because we have to be careful. We need to research where we're going, see what credits they need for what programs, and it's a little stressful, but a little exciting. Well, mostly exciting. I'm almost positive I don't need to take math, and can't, since I only took college level this year, which means I can't switch into a university one for next year (and obviously, universities only take uni level credits).

So, since I'm more then likely not taking math, I am taking english, writers craft, studies in literature, canadian/international law, philosophy, history and vocal XD. And a spare. We can take two, but we've been advised to take seven or eight classes, because it's easier to drop a course then it is to add one. If you start to fail or something. So, vocal is like a spare anyways XD

It makes me happy. I'm excited to take three English's :D I'm such a huge dork >.>

Speaking of dorks, I am still addicted to FF 12. And I still think it is an amazing game. Tedious, but oh so fun...

And, oddly enough, I just remembered that i need to go get a new eyebrow ring. Bar, thing. XD And I want to got to Buffalo (the city) and go shopping~~

And so, that is my life, in a nutshell, excluding the drama.

life. life.

2008-02-17T01:06:00.005-05:00

Mood: Discontent

Music: The Promised Land - Nobuo Uematsu

So, this week has been drama-filled and mildly stressful. Drama concerning one person. I have a habit of getting myself into stupid situations with friends. Like, being too close, not paying attention to others, and then being mildly screwed over.

Not to mention I've in general just been annoyed with this one person. I feel very, very stifled, which bothers me. There's no need for me to have to ask if I can go to the library to do homework, or ask if it's okay if I stay in the school and eat with other friends. There's no reason for me to have to go out to eat every day when I'd like to stay inside, and there is definitely no reason for me to feel guilty when I decide to stay in to do homework. This is not a relationship. I do not have any obligation to put this one friend before everyone else.

And yet, I still feel unnecessarily guilty. I was sure I'd freed myself from this situation when I moved >.>

It's been a very tiring week.

Other the other hand, I got 100% on my math test, for the first time in years. I don't know if I've ever gotten full marks! XD It even said 'top of the class' on it, and I was astonished, especially since I pretty much failed math last year.

Really, I think it's because i decided to go down a level, and I'm re-learning everything we did last year. But my teacher said what we're doing now is the hardest topic of the year, and I am having no issues so far. Maybe I'll get lucky and actually do well this year?

Hospitality on Friday was a disaster though. I nearly destroyed my cookies, and made the teacher think I'm stupid. I'm not, I can cook! I made amazing cookies last weekend >.>

I played video games yesterday to get my mind off of things, though. It worked. I also played all day today. From ten in the morning until six thirty at night. It was amazing, I haven't played for that long in a long time XD. Hopefully I'll get to on Monday, since it's 'Family Day' and we have no school.

And so, that is my life, in a nutshell. Dull, as usual.

2008-02-09T11:37:00.000-05:00

Mood: calm

Music: Screaming Infidelities - Dashboard Confessional

Second semester has started and already my life has just suddenly drained away. >.>

I have, in order: English (university), Hospitality (workplace), Math (College) and World History, which I think is also a university prep course. My English course changed from last year though; apparently it was really slack, and the grade twelve teachers were complaining that their students didn't know anything, so they've made it harder. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's supposed to be more like a first year university course now. Poetry is a big part though, which I guess is good, I like poetry. I've already chosen my poet and poem for my ISU. The Rose of Battle, W.B.Yeats. It's very pretty.

And so, life has been busy and conflicted. I've had homework every night since Monday, which is more traumatizing then it sounds, because last semester I had one class that I actually did any work in, and had a spare to do the rare homework we got. So I barely had any. Although, the homework does give me a good reason to go to the library at lunch, despite my friends horror. But I love the library, it's warm, comfortable and quiet.

For the conflict, I guess that's mostly my fault. I have a tendency to get sick of people, I guess, and just push them away after a while. Maybe, I'm not sure. But regardless, since this time last year, I've been spending most of my time (at school, anyways) with one friend, and it just kind of gets to be enough? Especially since I've been feeling restless, and her opinions are clashing with mine. Actually, everything she does kind of clashes with what I do, and it's tiring. And I've realized that I'm falling back into my usual routine and giving myself to one person, and failing to spend time with anyone else. So I've been trying to spend more time with other friends, and maybe even hang out with them (the horror). We've only got a year and a half left, and it just doesn't seem like a lot of time anymore. As much as I want to get on with it and start my life, I want to be with friends.

So yeah. Drama. And, I need to go find a new job. But that's nothing new, I say that almost every single day. Maybe I should get around to it?

I've been on a Dashboard Confessional kick. I don't know why I didn't like them the first time I listened to some of their stuff, but I absolutely love them now. My friend's brother was playing some of their cd's, and I kind of just fell in love with them, and am now downloading all the torrents of their albums. I'm so behind in our music >.>

Anyways, hopefully today I can play some video games (more! I got to on our snow day) and buy healthy food.

I'd like healthy food. I need to be more healthy, or I'm going to die of malnutrition >.>

2008-02-01T11:16:00.000-05:00

Mood: disgruntled

Music: LOVE SCREAM PARTY - SuG

I was supposed to go to the city today, by bus, and, you know, bring my friend to Chinatown, 'cause she doesn't get the opportunity to go to the city often, being in college and all, and living kinda far from the city. Unfortunately, it's not happening. Because it snowed early this morning, and still sorta is, and it's windy, etc. Not that we really care, 'cause it's Canada, and we're used to this weather, but her MOTHER. >.>

Her mother apparently didn't want us to take the bus when it's snowing? Or they wouldn't run or something? I've seen the busses run when we had like, two feet of snow, and I couldn't get a ride to work from my own parents. Those busses like, ALWAYS keep going. Seriously. The thing is, I'd definitely be allowed to go, even in this weather. As long as I'm not alone, my parents could care less if I went to the city. But my friend, who is turning twenty this year, is rarely allowed to take the bus. And now can't take it because it's snowing. Like, honestly.

So, yeah. Woe is me and all that. I even got paid yesterday, and I'm feeling relatively comfortable with spending some money now, and I'm not going to get the chance to go to the city anytime soon. Because I have no one else to go with. Lena, Brenna, I demand that you both go to university here. Somewhere, anywhere in the GTA? XD 'Cause, honestly. At nearly twenty, you'd think she'd be allowed to make her own decisions? I'm three years younger and I have more freedom then she ever will >.>

But, what really bothers me, was that is was so nice out yesterday. It was like -8 (without the windchill) and it was SO INCREDIBLY SUNNY. There were absolutely no clouds in the sky, and I've never seen it so clear. I don't think I've seen a clear sky like that since I moved from Winnipeg! XD If she hadn't have had class, and I didn't have to work, it would have been the perfect day to go to the city. It was the perfect day to go to the city. And now it's all ugly, and snowy again. And almost all of the snow had melted >.>

Hmm, maybe when she wakes up, I'll try and convince her to convince her mum to let her go. Or we'll have to go tomorrow, which probably won't happen >.>

:sigh:

2008-01-30T18:46:00.000-05:00

Mood: Content

Music: LOCK ON the NEW Sekai - An Cafe

So, I bought Gundam Seed Destiny volume 12 a few days ago, on Friday, I think, and I was so pumped to watch it ('cause I'm a huge loser and it's my most favorite anime of all time!) so, i came home form the theaters, got all like, set up and stuff, and put in GSD 12. And the disc didn't work. Then I remembered my friend telling me about how they were having issues burning the anime to the disc, and that I should wait a few weeks before I bought it, and we both forgot when we were at the store, so I bought a screwed up disc.

I was so upset. I was really excited to finish it (even if I was dreading it at the same time). So, I went to the mall today, and returned it. The guy offered to give me another one and see if it worked, but I just took my money back, and decided to just buy it next time I go to the city. Which should be on Friday. Hopefully. But now that I think about it, it was kind of stupid, because if I get it in the city, and it doesn't work, it'll be so much harder to return it. It's easier to return it in town here XD Ah well.

Regardless, I went to the mall with two of my friends, and it was pretty fun. it's freezing for once here, so we got a ride there, took the bus back, and got a ride back form a Tim Hortons nearby. It was honestly too cold to walk without a scarf and boots >.> It's about -20 with the windchill, and it never gets that cold here!

And last night, after work, I came back and finally finished the seventh chapter of one of my random stories. I swear, it's about thirty pages long. The last time I counted, it was twenty, and that was before I was done writing it. >.> Then I reread the first chapter, and decided I definitely needed to rewrite that. So, I guess I have lots of writing ahead of me, considering there's like, four other things I'd like to start/work on.

But, tonight, I'm set on playing Final Fantasy 12. I bought it around New Years, and only played it once >.> So, now I'm ready to play it. I thought since I only had one exam, I might get to do some intense video gaming, but no. No gaming. I've been working, writing, and just haven't been home. I was going to stay home and just play video games today, but my friend is going to montreal tomorrow, and I felt like I should see her before she leaves. So I did. Not that I regret it, i just don't think I'm ever going to get to my video games >.>

:sigh: my life is so completely and utterly dull. Really.

first post. er.

2008-01-29T12:25:00.000-05:00

Mood:lazy

Music: Signal - D

Location: bedroom

So, then this would be the first post of the blog I decided to make.

Thank you brenbren, for helping me. I don't think I could have managed it on my own XD

So, I'm not quite sure about what I'm going to do with this thing yet, besides talk to myself, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. I'm so used to livejournal, but as Bren says, you can do so much more with this thing. Maybe. I haven't used livejournal in a while. The only thing is, on livejournal, you could join communities, and get publicity for writing pictures, music etc. I wonder if you can do that on here?

Regardless, I'll use it for fun, to attempt to upload music on here (because I've noticed how hard it is to find anything on the internet, and I take all the time, so I thought I'd try and help). I wonder if you can upload music on here? XD Oh well, if not ...I tried. Maybe I'll use this for writing too, if I can figure it out. It might end up being easier to use than fictionpress? It takes so much work to upload all the documents and stuff on there.

Mmm, bren makes this thing look so much more glamorous. I'll have to try and make use of this thing, and become knowledgeable in the ways of html, I suppose. Eh, I guess that's all for now. Weird.

2008-01-28T23:25:00.001-05:00

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